Enjoying reading.

Ok. So if I'm being totally honest, I read only what I had to in high school. I did enjoy some of the books we had to read; To Kill a Mockingbird, Of Mice and Men, Lord of the Flies, and Fahrenheit 451, just to name a few.

Since I graduated high school in 2001 I don't recall reading a single book except the Bible; off and on. Beginning in May of 2009, some things began to change. Spiritual transformations mostly. I had been searching and seeking a change for about 9 months already. May was here and the school year was over, I was a substitute teacher at the time, working almost everyday. With the end of school around the corner, I was left looking for work or a career. With some help from a friend, I ended up working at this Christian camp and retreat center. I was surrounded by a handful of good people, one of which was my long time but not always so close friend, Zack Jones.

I say not always so close friend, but I'll have you know it was all by my doing and not his. There was some distance both literal and metaphorical that existed between us for a while, not for any reason really, but regardless it was there. After moving back to Texas from New Mexico I began having great conversations with Zack. It left us both energized and feeling a little mixed up about what to do next in life. At that point, I began a quest. Not necessarily a quest for knowledge as much as a quest for God. I realized that you can't know someone unless you spend time with them. I had some knowledge of God but not enough knowledge about how I should interact with Him, I wasn't sure what was supposed to be happening in my life, or what role He played in my story. To be honest, I'm still not sure if I fully understand it, but I feel a heck of a lot closer now. One of the main things that changed was me realizing that He doesn't have a role in my story, I am lucky to have a role in His.

After many changes in my lifestyle, and re-prioritization, not only am I reading the Bible almost everyday but some other books as well. I now have gained some interaction with God as well as some knowledge of who He is and how He interacts with others based on their experiences, both written and verbal. There is more to this story of transformation as it is ongoing. Perhaps I share more some other time but for now here are some of the books that aided me along the way.

Here are my current (September 2009) reading lists:

Some Books I’ve Read:

Wild at Heart by John Eldridge
The Irresistible Revolution by Shane Claiborne
Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller
Messy Spirituality by Michael Yaconelli
Crazy Love by Francis Chan
Sex God by Rob Bell
A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by Donald Miller


Currently Reading:

Through Painted Deserts by Donald Miller


Sporadically Reading:

Celebration of Discipline by Richard Foster
The Way of the Wild Heart by John Eldridge

Want to Read:

Forgotten God by Francis Chan
Follow Me to Freedom by Shane Claiborne and John Perkins
Prayer by Richard Foster
Fear and Trembling by Soren Kierkegaard
Velvet Elvis by Rob Bell
New Monasticism by Jonathan Wilson-Hartgrove
Freedom of Simplicity by Richard Foster
Red Letter Christians by Tony Campolo
The New Conspirators by Tom Sine
From Union Square to Rome by Dorothy Day
Chasing Daylight by Erwin McManus
Streams of Living Water by Richard Foster
Jesus for President by Shane Claiborne
Punk Monk by Andy Freeman
The New Friars by Scott Bessenecker
Prayer by Richard Foster
Searching For God Knows What by Donald Miller
Becoming the Answer to Our Prayers by Shane Claiborne & Jonathan Wilson-Hartgrove
Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis
Life With God by Richard Foster

So apparently I've started writing.

I'm not sure why. Everything I've written so far is true, non-fiction. I guess it could fit into a book about myself, there are plenty of stories, but it is highly unlikely that I will write a book. Maybe devotionals or just blogs. Some stories are just funny and some have a point, like this one, but either way I guess I'll share some of them...or at least parts of them. Here is an excerpt from my latest.

...I took off my glasses, placed them on the nightstand, and crawled back into bed after finishing one of the most inspiring books I had ever read, and all I could do was sulk. I wanted to know God more. I wanted to want Jesus more. I know that prayer is the most effective and most underused way to achieve this, so what am I to do now? So I buried my hands in my face and asked God to teach me how to pray. I know Jesus already taught us how in the gospels, and that there are plenty of examples all throughout the Bible but I wanted to know. To really know.

“I want to know. Right now. Teach me how Lord.” I kept on crying out with my watery eyes tightly closed and my feet fidgeting uncomfortably until suddenly I was interrupted with a cry directed at me.

“Daddy!”

My head left the pillow immediately. I opened my eyes, hoping the cry didn’t wake my sleeping wife. I started to direct my head back towards the pillow when I heard it again, this time louder and mixed with more frustration.

“Daddy! DADDD-DEEE!??!?!”

At this point, I’m thinking to myself,

“Really God? It’s one thirty in the morning. I’m pouring my heart out to you because I want to learn how to pray and now, right now, my daughter has to wake up crying?”

Reluctantly, I got out of bed, put my glasses back on and headed down the hall. I stepped over the baby gate that stood in the doorway of Chandler’s room. She sleeps in a “big girl” bed now so we keep the gate up just in case she is a sleepwalker. I kneeled down beside her bed, as she lay there squirming and groaning, wishing that she would just open her eyes and see that I was there.

“Chandler. You called me.” I said under my breath. “Stop crying, open your eyes, and see that I am here. Everything is fine.”

I gently repositioned her in the corner of her bed, placing her head on her pillow, snuggle bear in her arms, and her blanket to cover her little legs, knowing all of those things bring her comfort. She would have none of them, nor know how to use them if not for me. I stepped back over the gate, walked immediately into the living room, and kneeled down in front of my couch and thanked God for teaching me how to pray.

God is always there, whether I call on Him or not. He wants us to cry out to Him, but sometimes God does want us to shut up, open our eyes and look around to see the blessings He has given us, and then thank Him without ceasing. We all, no matter our age, cling to our “snuggle bears” and desire to covered with a metaphorical blanket of protection and safety, which could ultimately lead us to a comfortable complacent life, lacking the need for an all powerful and amazing God. Everything we have comes from Him, for that, we should be thankful. I am coming to God with nothing in mind at all, at least for now. After realizing His glory every time that I pray, only then can I ask for anything.