I'm not sure why. Everything I've written so far is true, non-fiction. I guess it could fit into a book about myself, there are plenty of stories, but it is highly unlikely that I will write a book. Maybe devotionals or just blogs. Some stories are just funny and some have a point, like this one, but either way I guess I'll share some of them...or at least parts of them. Here is an excerpt from my latest.
...I took off my glasses, placed them on the nightstand, and crawled back into bed after finishing one of the most inspiring books I had ever read, and all I could do was sulk. I wanted to know God more. I wanted to want Jesus more. I know that prayer is the most effective and most underused way to achieve this, so what am I to do now? So I buried my hands in my face and asked God to teach me how to pray. I know Jesus already taught us how in the gospels, and that there are plenty of examples all throughout the Bible but I wanted to know. To really know.
“I want to know. Right now. Teach me how Lord.” I kept on crying out with my watery eyes tightly closed and my feet fidgeting uncomfortably until suddenly I was interrupted with a cry directed at me.
“Daddy!”
My head left the pillow immediately. I opened my eyes, hoping the cry didn’t wake my sleeping wife. I started to direct my head back towards the pillow when I heard it again, this time louder and mixed with more frustration.
“Daddy! DADDD-DEEE!??!?!”
At this point, I’m thinking to myself,
“Really God? It’s one thirty in the morning. I’m pouring my heart out to you because I want to learn how to pray and now, right now, my daughter has to wake up crying?”
Reluctantly, I got out of bed, put my glasses back on and headed down the hall. I stepped over the baby gate that stood in the doorway of Chandler’s room. She sleeps in a “big girl” bed now so we keep the gate up just in case she is a sleepwalker. I kneeled down beside her bed, as she lay there squirming and groaning, wishing that she would just open her eyes and see that I was there.
“Chandler. You called me.” I said under my breath. “Stop crying, open your eyes, and see that I am here. Everything is fine.”
I gently repositioned her in the corner of her bed, placing her head on her pillow, snuggle bear in her arms, and her blanket to cover her little legs, knowing all of those things bring her comfort. She would have none of them, nor know how to use them if not for me. I stepped back over the gate, walked immediately into the living room, and kneeled down in front of my couch and thanked God for teaching me how to pray.
God is always there, whether I call on Him or not. He wants us to cry out to Him, but sometimes God does want us to shut up, open our eyes and look around to see the blessings He has given us, and then thank Him without ceasing. We all, no matter our age, cling to our “snuggle bears” and desire to covered with a metaphorical blanket of protection and safety, which could ultimately lead us to a comfortable complacent life, lacking the need for an all powerful and amazing God. Everything we have comes from Him, for that, we should be thankful. I am coming to God with nothing in mind at all, at least for now. After realizing His glory every time that I pray, only then can I ask for anything.
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